寶寶不是故意, 只是在溝通
當媽後所要面臨的第一件事, 就是要學會處理寶寶哭了怎麼辦? 寶寶開心當然是天使, 人見人愛, 但寶寶哭了, 常常會讓父母抓不著頭緒, 到底現在該怎麼辦? 其實寶寶在哭不是故意, 只是在溝通!
有些人說, 寶寶哭了, 除非是尿布濕了, 肚子餓了, 生病了, 冷了, 熱了之外, 其它心理性的需求, 像是希望被擁抱的需求, 父母不可以輕易被寶寶用哭聲操控, 要從小就訓練寶寶,
對於這樣重視紀律性的教派, 愛小宜實在是敬謝不敏, 所以打從同大爺出生後, 愛小宜比較是順從父母的天性, 疼愛與安全感的給予, 這二點是自己非常重視的,
原因只在於大人尚且需要安全感, 又何況是小娃兒, 再者, 小寶寶那能有那麼多心機會知道用小手段(哭泣)去達到需求, 要用這麼權謀性的角度去看這麼可愛的寶寶, 愛小宜實在做不到!
現在同大爺九個月了, 除了進入分離焦慮期時會特別黏媽咪, 媽咪不在會哭之外, 肚子餓了, 尿布濕了, 大便了, 想睡了, 都不會在第一時間就用哭鬧來表現,
因為, 小子知道父母親會馬上主動的處理他的需求, 他並不需要用哭鬧來溝通啊! 只要嗚啊就可以, 而且, 愛小宜還發現, 現在的小子還能學會等待,
最近無意間在baby center看到一篇講關於寵愛寶寶的文章, 裡面有很多觀點和愛小宜不謀而合, 因此, 愛小宜將該文章分享給媽咪們, 並且試著自己翻譯, 希望更多人可以看到這篇文章, 不過, 如果翻譯的不好就多多包涵囉!
If I lavish love and attention on my baby, will I spoil him?
太多的關注與愛, 會不會寵壞寶寶?
Sandy Bailey
certified family life educator
No. Young babies are completely spoil-proof. Your baby needs all the care and attention you can give. Ignore the advice of well-meaning relatives who think babies need to learn independence. Instead, listen to your parental instinct — that inner voice that tells you to comfort your baby when he cries.
並不會的, 寶寶們絕對值得被寵愛, 寶寶需要的是父母的照顧與關注, 所以請忘記那些告訴寶寶是需要學習獨立的建議吧! 相反的, 請傾聽屬於父母的內在直覺, 它會告訴你當寶寶哭泣時, 做父母的應該要做的是讓寶寶感到被關注與舒適,
“Spoiled children” have learned to use negative behavior to get what they want. But your baby is too young to purposefully manipulate or annoy you. He cries to communicate his needs, whether they're for a snack, a dry diaper, or a little cuddling with Mom or Dad. When you respond quickly to your baby, you're building his sense of self-worth. You're also establishing a foundation of trust that can last for years to come.
“被寵壞的孩子”指的是那些知道用負面行為來獲得想要的東西的幼童, 但襁褓中的寶寶並不會故意用行為來操控或困擾父母, 哭只是一個他們用來與外界溝通的工具, 可能是想睡了, 尿布濕了, 或者是單純的想要媽媽或爸爸的懷抱, 而當父母對於寶寶的需求, 能夠愈快速給予回應時, 愈能建立寶寶的自我肯定感, 同時也可以建立信任的基礎, 而這對於未來寶寶的人格發展是有重要影響的,
If you give your baby prompt attention, he'll feel more secure and less anxious, giving him the courage to explore the world on his own. And once he understands that you take his cries seriously, he'll be less likely to cry for no reason. In the long run, responding quickly to your baby's needs will make him less clingy and demanding, not more.
父母愈能給予寶寶立即的回應, 寶寶將更有安全感及減少焦慮感, 並且鼓勵寶寶用自己的方式去探索世界, 一旦父母對於寶寶的哭泣的回應, 也會減少寶寶無故的哭鬧, 長期來看, 快速立即的處理寶寶需求, 對於降低分離焦慮也是有正面幫助,
By the time your baby is 6 to 8 months old, he'll be paying close attention to cause and effect — noticing, for instance, that his bowl falls when he drops it from the highchair. He'll also start to see a direct link between his actions and your responses. At this point it's okay to set some limits. If your baby starts crying to get something he doesn't need, hold your ground and give him a hug when he calms down. Similarly, give hugs and praise for good behavior and gently redirect him when he's doing something hazardous.
6-8個月的寶寶, 也開始學習所謂的因果關係, 舉例來說, 當寶寶將碗從餐椅上往下丟, 這時候, 寶寶也會去觀察父母的反應, 也就是所謂的寶寶丟碗與父母反應間的關係, 所以這時候的父母可以試著去設定範圍限制, 當寶寶處於不必要的哭鬧時, 此時父母的立場要堅定, 並且在寶寶情緒冷靜後再給寶寶擁抱, 同樣的, 當寶寶做的好時, 也要抱抱寶寶, 而當寶寶在做一些危險行為時, 則去引導寶寶
The right blend of love and guidance will eventually help your child understand his place in the world. But for now, your focus should be on giving him as much attention and comfort as you can. No matter how much you give, it's not more than he needs.
疼愛與引導同時並進, 才能幫助寶寶更了解所處的世界, 但對於6-8個月的寶寶, 父母的焦點應該是在給予關注與安全感, 因為, 寶寶所需要的, 永遠比父母給予的多更多
原文出自baby center, 原文請點此
推一咕!
我也沒辦法拒絕寶貝ㄉ哭聲拉…
看她哭的很可憐,就算我是故意放她哭ㄉ
可是沒一會兒~就馬上抱她ㄌ….(我被控制ㄌ)